


Routine

by DictionaryWrites



Category: Kingsman: The Secret Service (2015)
Genre: Desperation, Dirty Talk, Dom/sub Undertones, Large Cock, Lube, M/M, Sex Toys, Size Difference, Size Kink, Size Queen Eggsy, Teasing, Vibrators
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-30
Updated: 2015-06-30
Packaged: 2018-04-07 01:10:45
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,194
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4243773
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DictionaryWrites/pseuds/DictionaryWrites
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Merlin and Eggsy are <i>finally</i> going to get into bed properly - and then Merlin throws a spanner in the works. A spanner produced by Bad Dragon.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Routine

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Chinese Translation](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/134763) by Baalla. 



> NSFW links if anyone wants to see the things I put in the fic. If you are not familiar with Bad Dragon products, they're (usually extremely large) sex toys based off of anthropomorphized animal genitalia. 
> 
> The Lightning Rod is actually the biggest version of the Bad Dragon [Fenrir the Wolfdragon](http://bad-dragon.com/products/fenrir). The vibrator I had in mind was [this one](http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=31570).

Eggsy prepped himself before he came, shoved four fingers into himself in the bathroom of the restaurant with his head against the door and his hand between his legs, fucking himself, just so that when he got to Merlin's _fucking_ cutesy little bungalow he'd actually get **fucked**.

Because six times Merlin's made Eggsy come now, six times he's has Eggsy rub himself against Merlin's leg like a rutting dog, had Eggsy bent over his desk with a slapped-red arse and fingers on his balls, had Eggsy this way and that way, but Eggsy hasn't actually had the other man's **cock** in him, not even in his mouth, and God, _God_ , he wants it.

This want only escalates once Merlin's suit's off and he's just got his underwear on – Eggsy's seen the outline of the other's dick through his trousers when Eggsy's got him hot and bothered, but he's never seen it properly, not like this with Merlin's boxers pulled down so that his prick is just fucking **there** , thick as Eggsy's fucking wrist and wet at the tip.

“ _Shit_ ,” says Eggsy softly, eyes wide and mouth dry. “I want that _in_ me.”

“Come here, Eggsy,” says Merlin quietly, and Eggsy's been waiting for this all through the posh fucking dinner _and_ dessert, so when he moves forwards he's maybe a bit desperate. He goes where Merlin coaxes him to, sits right back in Merlin's lap when he pats his own thigh after sitting down on his too-expensive-to-think-about sofa, and Eggsy closes his eyes, shifting himself so that Merlin can just line himself _up_ and slide home--

“Oh, come **on** , Merlin, no-” Eggsy protests as Merlin reaches forwards, grasping at Eggsy's knees and spreading them just that bit **wider** , until he's forced to lean back against the older man's chest to keep his balance and not fall forwards onto the floor. Merlin is wearing a plain white t-shirt that probably costs more than the whole outfit of Eggsy's strewn in a pile on the floor, and his boxers are pulled down so that his cock rubs wetly against the crack of Eggsy's arse. Eggsy's naked, and he has to just **balance** with nothing to hold onto, with his legs stretched so wide his inner thighs hurt, with his bum firmly in Merlin's lap.

“Oh, _no_?” Merlin's question is mocking, tone teasing as his hands stretch broad and wide over the muscle of Eggsy's thighs, grasping tightly at the thick flesh that's firm from hard work, and Eggsy has to suppress a shiver; he bites his lip and shifts his arse back against Merlin's cock, feeling its weight on his lower back and letting out a soft noise because **FUCK** , it's big, and he wants it _in_ him. “You don't want me to shag your brains out, then, Eggsy? Shame – it's what I had on the agenda, but-”

“ _Nah_ , bruv, nah, it's _fine_ , just fuckin'- fucking _do_ it, right? You're hung like fucking Bad Dragon designed your cock, Merlin, come **on** -”

“Bad Dragon?” Merlin repeats innocently, as if he doesn't fucking **know**. His thumbs are rubbing tantalizing little patterns at the divot between Eggsy's thigh and his _cock_ , and it's driving Eggsy abso-fucking-lutely **MAD**.

“Yeah, you know, Bad Dragon, fuck, Merlin, Bad Dragon like fucking dinosaur cocks and shit just fucking **fuck** me-” Eggsy's hands come down on Merlin's knees as he tries to fuck himself back, just fucking teasing Merlin's monster cock into his arse **without** Merlin's fingers lining it up, and then Merlin gives him cause to _wail_.

“No, Eggsy, get up.”

“ _GUV_ , you can't just fucking do _this_ to me-” But Eggsy gets up all the same, and he doesn't touch his cock where it's hard and twitching between his legs, because he knows Merlin will _spank_ him for it, and he just wants to get fucked **first**. And what the Hell is Merlin even doing, walking the fuck _off_ like this? “You got Alzheimer's or something, Merlin? 'Cause I _swear_ , it ain't fucking normal to lose interest when you got an arse like **mine** that close to your-” Eggsy's mouth stops making noise, but his lips stay parted, his expression fixed on the thing in Merlin's hand.

It's fucking **massive** , the length of Merlin's forearm and fucking thick 'round the base – Eggsy knows they use a Coke can for size reference on the Bad Dragon website, and it **must** be wider than a Coke can, it _must_ be. Merlin's eyes are dark with thought, and he's just **staring** at Eggsy, expression appraising, thoughtful, expectant.

“You ever taken one of these, Eggsy?” Merlin asks, (rightly) pin-pointing that Eggsy's a fucking size queen if ever there was one. Eggsy shakes his head mutely – he'd never be able to shell out the cash for a fifty quid cock off the site, and even if he did, Dean or his mum or whoever could always find it and take the _piss_. “This is the Lightning Rod.”

“You fucking had that up your arse?”

“Nope,” Merlin murmurs, and his lips twitch with some sort of _terrifying_ and **really** , really fucking fit amusement before he adds, “Couldn't take it.”

“ _Ah,_ ” Eggsy squeaks, not really able to say anything else, but when Merlin gestures with two long fingers for Eggsy to come into the bedroom with him, he does, unable not to. He wants Merlin's prick in him, of course he does, but that's a fucking _Bad Dragon_ cock, and it's even bigger than **Merlin** is--

“On your back, Eggsy.” The order comes cleanly, cutting through the air with military precision, and Eggsy does, sprawls on his back with his head on the pillows of Merlin's bed, naked back on Egyptian cotton sheets. He shivers as he watches Merlin grasp the toy in one hand and a bottle of lube in the other, moving to lean between Eggsy's legs and play over his hole with a thick thumb. “I fucking _spoil_ you.”

“Not with your cock, though,” Eggsy grouses, but it's hard to _really_ complain when Merlin's sliding two fingers inside him, thumb stroking over the sensitive skin of his ballsack, flicking over it and making Eggsy's cock twitch and his thighs _tremble_.

“Maybe you can take both,” Merlin says lowly, staring at Eggsy's face through his glasses, expression unreadable as he adds a third finger, as if Eggsy's not already slick and wet and **ready** , and Eggsy chokes out a noise, hands grasping tightly at the sheets underneath him; he knows Merlin's just trying to rile him up, knows it'd probably split him open if Merlin just **tried** , but fuck, fuck, _fuck_ , the idea of being stretched so wide is just so fucking **GOOD** -

“Yeah,” gasps Eggsy, nodding desperately despite himself as Merlin drizzles lube over the toy, makes the silicon glisten, and he **grins** at Eggsy, fucking _bestial_ , and maybe that's fitting when he's got a big plastic fucking **wolf** cock to shag Eggsy silly with. Merlin lines it up, and Eggsy has to look, can't stand to close his eyes and miss Merlin's concentrated expression as he draws back his hand and lines the toy up instead. The head goes into him **easily,** and Eggsy can feel the ridges on the silicon, pulling at his rim as more of it slides into him. Merlin goes at the same, steady base, just pushing in, pushing _in_ , until Eggsy's stretched wide around it and the balls are pressing against his arse cheeks.

They're fucking **massive** , the balls on the toy are, but they're not at the base, because you're meant to just fucking **take** them like a _knot_. Eggsy squirms, and wriggles, fists his hands in the too-expensive sheets and shoves his elbows against the mattress, spreading his thighs as wide as Merlin had pushed them a few minutes ago, and he _whines_.

“D'you think you can take the rest, lad?” Merlin's question is careful, a bite of **excitement** under the tone, and Eggsy grits his teeth for a second, closing his eyes tightly and clenching around the thick girth of the thing inside him.

And then he nods his head.

Merlin twists the toy slightly as he pushes it forwards, and Eggsy feels it **HURT** as he stretches _wide_ , so wide, so wide, and it's fucking _PERFECT_. He draws one hand up to his face, biting down on his thumb to keep from screaming, but Merlin grabs at his arm and pulls it down again. The second half of the sound comes out and echoes off Merlin's shined, hard-wood floors as the fucking **Lightning Rod** (what sort of _name_ is that?) slams home with a _pop_.

Eggsy gasps in breaths as Merlin leaves the toy for a few moments, stroking little circles on Eggsy's thighs, and Eggsy opens his eyes slowly to meet the older man's eyes; Merlin looks so _delighted_ with him, so **proud** , and Eggsy feels a sort of heady warmth settle into his chest and then begin to spread.

“Suck my cock, Merlin,” Eggsy says breathlessly. Merlin slaps his thigh so hard Eggsy _yelps_ , and God, God, it jolts the toy in him so fucking **wonderfully** that Eggsy is on his belly in a second, knees spread, arse in the air, begging, “ _Fuck_ , Merlin, fuck, do that again, **please** -”

“You're a little **slut** , aren't you, Eggsy?”

“Yes, _fuck_ yes, Merlin, I so am, mate-” And shit, the toy feels different like this, fucking **heavy** like it's weighing him the fuck down, and it's good, really good, even better when Merlin slaps his arse, and then taps the **plug** , damn, _damn_. It's _great_ as Merlin brings his heavy hand down in quick, heavy slaps, each leaving tingling, painful heat over the sensitized skin as Eggsy _shivers_ under the attention, cock bobbing and _leaking_ under his belly.

“Lie on your back again.” comes the order, and Eggsy does, too much in a _state_ to argue. “Close your eyes.” Eggsy does. He wants to _whine,_ complain that Merlin's not giving him any proper attention, but the burning, tingling pain on his arse cheeks, the heavy silicon cock in his arse, the way his **muscles** hurt, all of them keep him **quiet** for a few moments.

And then he feels a little tap against the toy, and he **grins** , ready to get fucked--

He doesn't get fucked, but he does let out a yell.

“ _Ah,_ _ **fuck**_ **,** fuck, fuck, Merlin, **fuck** -” His eyes open wide, and Merlin presses the egg of the vibrator harder against the base of the toy, pressing on the button and upping its rate, and shit, the vibrations are so strong they go right _through_ Eggsy, and he's left squirming for over-sensitivity as his orgasm coils in his belly, cock twitching.

“Are you going to come for me, Eggsy?”

“Fuck, yeah, fuck-”

“Go on, then,” Merlin says coaxingly, and he leans as he presses the vibe harder against the base of the cock, so close that his breath is hot over Eggsy's _real_ prick, and Eggsy just can't _deal_ with it. “Come on now, lad, just come for me. How is it you phrase it, eh? Blow you fucking load?” Eggsy almost chokes on a laugh, but then Merlin presses his tongue sloppily against Eggsy's balls, drags it over the skin, and Eggsy's just **GONE**.

He feels like he's fucking _whited out_ , and he goes through his orgasm in a _desperate_ daze, whining and crying, and when he's **done** , his belly's wet and he feels almost _faint_. Merlin's sat next to him, and despite himself Eggsy can't really meet the other man's gaze: his gaze flickers down to the other man's cock, heavy against his stomach and only half-hard.

“Let me suck it,” Eggsy says, _requests_ , in the sweetest tone he can possibly manage, and he reaches, but Merlin grabs him by the wrist and stops him short.

“Ah ah. Not tonight.”

“Fuck's sake, Merlin, just _let me_ -”

“ _No_ , Eggsy. Next time.”

“You're doing this on _purpose_.”

“Perhaps I am,” Merlin murmurs, and he leans, so his mouth is against Eggsy's ear, breath hot on the skin like it had been when Merlin had brought him off against his own desk. “Perhaps, Eggsy, I'm teasing you, and teasing you, so when that I finally let you have it I can make you _cry_ with it.”

“That is sick.” Eggsy says, trying to sound doubtful, when Merlin's tone and the fucking _idea_ sends a whole little tremble through his body, all up his spine. His cock, traitorously, gives a weakly interested twitch.

“Is it? Looks like you like the idea.” Merlin points out with a smirk, reaching down and grasping at Eggsy's cock with his right hand (fucking double standards) and drags his hand up the length of it; Eggsy lets out a short, _soft_ noise and lets his head drop against Merlin's shoulder.

“I kinda do.”

“ _Kinda_?”

“ **Kind of**.” Eggsy says mockingly, and Merlin hums, drawing his free hand through Eggsy's hair.

“Bath?”

“Carry me.”

“No.” Eggsy huffs a faux-annoyed sigh, and then he nods his head.

“Yeah, alright.”

It's weird, actually, how _normal_ it's become, the both of them shagging (or, as it happens, **not** exactly shagging), but it's nice, kinda. Sorta like routine.

 


End file.
